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Иван Скавинский Скавар

Читаю хорошую книжку An Open Book by Michael Dirda, который уже много лет книжный обозреватель Washington Post. У него очень умные рецензии, а прочитал он, видимо, все книги, когда-либо издававшиеся. А это - книга его воспоминаний о том, как он рос в маленьком провинциальном городе в Огайо, что читал, какие комиксы смотрел и тому подобное. Такие ностальгические воспоминания. Обычно денег у их семьи не хватало, чтобы покупать все тома энциклопедии, и поэтому в доме было множество первых томов разных энциклопедий, так что все темы для школьных "исследований" у него были на букву "А".
А мать семейства целый год тренировалась бросать "дартс" в мишень, чтобы на городской ярмарке выиграть какой-то дурацкий приз.

А вот какую замечательную песню я откопал в этой книжке. Называется Ivan Skavinsky Scavar. В ней рассказывается история Ивана Скавинского Скавара и Абдула Абульбуля Эмира.
Вот бы её переверсти.


Ivan Skavinsky Scavar


The harems of Egypt are fine to behold,
The harlots the fairest of fair,
But the fairest of all was owned by a sheik,
Named Abdul Abulbul Emir.


A traveling brothel came down from the north,
'Twas privately run for the Tsar,
Who wagered a hundred no one could out-shag,
Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


A day was arranged for the spectacle great,
A holiday proclaimed by the Tsar,
And the streets were all lined with the harlots assigned,
To Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


Old Abdul came in with a snatch by his side,
His eye bore a leer of desire,
And he started to brag how he would outshag,
Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


All hairs they were shorn, no frenchies were worn,
And this suited Abdul by far,
And he'd quite set his mind on a fast action grind,
To beat Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


They met on the track with cocks at the slack,
A starter's gun punctured the air,
They were both quick to rise, the crowd gaped at the size,
Of Abdul Abulbul Emir.


They worked all the night in the pale yellow light,
Old Abdul he revved like a car,
But he couldn't compete with the slow steady beat,
Of Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


So Ivan he won and he shouldered his gun,
He bent down to polish the pair,
When something red hot up his back passage shot,
'Twas Abdul Abulbul Emir.


The harlots turned green, the crowd shouted "Queen"
They were ordered apart by the Tsar,
'Twas bloody bad luck for poor Abdul was stuck,
Up Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


The cream of the joke came when they broke,
'Twas laughed at for years by the Tsar,
For Abdul the fool has left half of his tool,
Up Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.


*******************


In the harems of Egypt it's good to behold
The fairest of harlots appear,
But the fairest, a Greek was owned by a sheik
Named Abdul Abulbul Amir!


A traveling brothel came into the town
Run by a pimp from afar
Whose great reputation had traveled the nation:
'Twas Ivan Skavinsky Scavar!


Abdul the Bulbul arrived with his bride
A prize whose eyes shone like a star
He claimed he could prong more cunts with his dong
Than Ivan Skavinsky Scavar!


A day was arranged for the spectacle great;
A visit was planned by the Czar!
And the kerbs were all lined with harlots reclined
In honour of Ivan Scavar!


They met on the track with their tools hanging slack
Dressed only in shoes and a leer,
Both were fast on the rise but folks gasped at the size
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir!


The cunts were all shorn, and no rubbers adorned
The prongs of the pimp and the peer,
But the pimp's steady stroke soon left without hope
The chance of the Abulbul Amir!


They worked thru the night til the dawn's early light
The clamor was heard from afar
The multitudes came to applaud the ball game
Of Abdul and Ivan Scavar!


When Ivan had finished, he turned to the Greek,
And laughed when she shivered in fear
She swallowed his pride, he buggered the bride
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir!


When Ivan was done, and was wiping his gun,
He bent down to polish his gear;
He felt, up his ass, a hard pecker pass;
'Twas Abdul Abulbul Amir!


The crowd loudly howled that it was a foul,
They were ordered to part, by the Czar,
But fast they were jammed; the pecker was crammed
In Ivan Skavinsky Scavar!


Now, the cream of the joke, when apart they were broke
Was laughed at for years by the Czar:
For Abdul the Bulbul left most of his tool
In Ivan Skavinsky Scavar!


The fair Grecian maiden a sad vigil keeps
With a husband whose tastes have turned queer...
She longs for the dong that once did belong
To Abdul Abulbul Emir!

Tags: книги
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  • Butterfly Quest

    Последние три месяца я работал над новым квестом. В отличие от всех предыдущих, этот — не просто набор случайных, ничем между собой не связанных…

  • (no subject)

    Зачем-то прослушал «Трудно быть богом». Последний раз читал её в школе. Лишний раз убедился, как же всё-таки быстро эта так называемая литература…

  • (no subject)

    Не могу себе простить, что не успел сфотографировать, но хотя бы запишу по свежим следам, чтоб не пропало. Несётся по улице открытый автомобиль…

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  • 11 comments

  • Butterfly Quest

    Последние три месяца я работал над новым квестом. В отличие от всех предыдущих, этот — не просто набор случайных, ничем между собой не связанных…

  • (no subject)

    Зачем-то прослушал «Трудно быть богом». Последний раз читал её в школе. Лишний раз убедился, как же всё-таки быстро эта так называемая литература…

  • (no subject)

    Не могу себе простить, что не успел сфотографировать, но хотя бы запишу по свежим следам, чтоб не пропало. Несётся по улице открытый автомобиль…